How Do You Ask?

At the age of two, my little son is beginning to really get a feel for what he wants.  He is often times very particular about things, and if everything does not go "just so" a cry of outrage at the great injustice done to him by his insensitive parents in not following his exact will may be heard for miles around.

The thing is, that as a parent who love this child beyond words, I want to give Him what he wants.  It pleases my heart to fulfill his request and see my child happy.  Many times, I do just that.  For example, he may say, "Mama, wanna read a book with me?"  "Sure Eli," I say, "I would love to read a book with you."  I will sit down indian style on the floor, he will crawl up into my lap, and we will read away.  He's happy, I'm happy, and all is right in the world. :)

On the other hand, there are times when I am not able to able to instantly fulfill my son's requests. 
One of those times is when his request does not align with what is best for him.  Oh, he may think it is best alright.  Cookies and goldfish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner sounds like a great idea when you are two.  But as his mom, the one primarily responsible for making sure that he receives not only what his taste buds desire but also the nutrients his body needs, I cannot with a good conscience fulfill this request.  Cry and protest as he may, I cannot give him what is not best for him.  Say he wants to run into the street.  "Mama, may I please run into the street?" No matter how nicely or consitently he askes this question, my answer will always be the same...No!  I am willing to sacrifice his happiness at moments to do what I need to do to protect him and provide for him in ways that are best.

Another time that I may not fulfill his request is when his request is not a request at all, but a demand.  Often times, his demands will start out "I want..." or "Give me..."  One question my husband and I find ourselves repeating over and over around here is, "How do you ask?"  Today when we were leaving church, our son said, "I want a snack Dada."  "How do you ask?" said my husband.  After thinking for a moment, I helped him out from the front seat, "Just say, 'may I have a snack please, Dada?'" Sure enough, our little parrot repeated it perfecty, his demand changed to a respectful request, and we responded by fulfilling his request.

Sometimes this situation plays out differently.  Sometimes Eli makes his demand, and we respond with "how do you ask?"  In not immediately receiving what he wants, he begins to throw a fit.  The odd thing about this situation is that it was never our intention to withhold his request, we simply did not like the way he was asking.  The problem was not with the "what" that he was asking for, it was the "how."  Because he has begun to throw a fit, however, we must now deal with a bigger issue, his heart.

I'm sure that by now, many of you are following where I am going with this analogy.  I feel that latley God has been showing me so much about my prayers, requests, and responses to Him through my experiences with my son. 

First, He is my loving Father and delights in giving me what I want.  God loves to say yes to us.  He loves to have us come to Him and pour out our hearts to Him and ask Him for whatever we need.  He is an extravagant giver, He loves us beyond words, and just as a parents receives joy in blessing their children and seeing them happy, God loves to bless us!  In the Old Testament, for example, God appears to Solomon and basically gives him a blank check.  "At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night; and God said, "Ask! What shall I give you?" (1 Kings 3:5)  In the New Testament, Jesus famously invites us to ask, saying, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) 

Certainly, God wants us to ask and He loves to answer us, but as anyone who has ever prayed has experienced, God does not always answer us immediately or in the way that we ask.  Could it be that you are specifically asking for something that is not best for you?  Do you spend your time repeatedly asking for cookies for breakfast or a chance to play in the street for a change?  In that case, God may be willing to deny your request and forgo your happiness for your own good.  Maybe you are asking for something that is good, but He has something different in store for you that is far better.  Will you trust Him with that?  Will you rest in the fact that He is your Good and Loving Father, and if your request is not being met that He has a reason behind it that is ultimately for your own good?  Trust Him, wait on Him, and worship Him in the process.

Or, could it be that you are not asking, but demanding your will from God, rather than submitting to His?  Could you be a little tyrant of a two year old, thinking that you know what is best and demanding that God do things your way, in your timing, and perfectly to your liking.  Check yourself in this, how are you asking?  Are you asking God for your own will, or are you asking God to conform your heart to His Will and praying according to it?  Maybe God is not yet answering you because He wants to train you and teach you how to present your request to Him respectfully.  Phillipians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Are you presenting your request to God with thanksgiving?  Are you resolved that no matter He responds, you will praise Him?  God may be saying, "How do you ask?"  He may not have a problem with the "what" at all...maybe the problem is the "how."

Another question to ask yourself is "how will you respond to His no?"  If you ask God for something and the answer is "no" or "wait," what do you do?  Do you let out a cry that God is unfair and unjust?  Do you think that He was unable to fulfill your request?  Do you get angry, believing that somehow, deep down, you deserved it and He either failed you or cheated you by not providing your request?  Do you think that God doesn't care, or maybe that He is just distant, mean, or harsh?
What is in your heart?  Examine it.  God already knows, and if your response is unfavorable when your requests go unmet, maybe God wants to get to a deeper issue in you and teach you a deeper level of trust in Him.

God wants us to take our requests to Him, to trust them fully to Him, and to rejoice with whatever answer He provides.  The only way to do this is to stop looking at the situation and to start looking at our God.  We will never understand everything that He does.  The Bible says, "Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable."(Ps 145:3)  His greatness IS unsearchable, we cannot understand it...do you trust that He is indeed great?  In all of His ways?  In everything?  In every answer including no or wait?  We are not called to understand Him, we are called to praise Him.  He is great, He is worthy of our praise.  Give Him the praise the He deserves, not because you get what you want, but because of who He is.  Trust Him.  Even if He has not answered your request, trust that He is a Sovereign, All Powerful, Omnipresent, Loving, Merciful, Gracious, and Good God.  Trust Him, praise Him, worship Him, because in the end this whole thing isn't really about us, it's about Him.

Oh Lord, we magnify You and exalt Your name.  You the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords and we honor you as thus, Jesus.  We submit our hearts to you and ask that you will teach us to pray prayers that are not focused on building our own kingdoms, but on building Yours.  We trust You, Lord, and we love You.  We say, Jesus, that you are Faithful and True.  We submit our every care, concern, and request to you with thanksgiving and a resolve that however you choose to answer, we will praise you and we will trust You.  Ultimately, Jesus, we thank you that we have everything that we need in you.  And in the words of David, our hearts agree, "One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." (Ps 27:4)  You, oh Lord, are our greatest desire; above all else, please give us more of You.  We make this prayer in the matchless name of Jesus, Amen.